Today's Lesson

I was born in KL, and yeah im a fucking chinese, as u know most of fucking hamgaling chinese in KL speak cantonese...but it oso depends on where they live, like me, i live in Ampang Village which most of us speak Hakka, kepong jai, jln ipoh jai, jinjang jai speak hokkien, pj jai, sunway jai, damansara jai, bangsar jai speak english, when ampang jai, kepong jai and pj jai happens to chat at the same table, they speak cantonese...so now u see cantonese is very important for those who live in KL, or plan to stay in KL...therethefuckingfore, this lesson is to assist those who r planning to come to work or study in KL, for short, ngoi fau jai...especially for those who is from jb, penang, sabah, sarawak...u have to learn this, im sure u dun wanna feel left out whenever u r with bunch of kl jai...

common phrase:
1. lei geh hai - when u disagree with some1

ngekxample - ah leong : oi, mahai cham yat ngo diu hai diu jor 2 lap jung dou mm chut ah, geng mou?
ah seng : lei geh hai!!!
ah leong : diu! ngak lei gau lan meh, jan geh...
ah seng : lei geh hai!!!
ah leong : mm sun lei man ngo tiu lui la...
ah seng : lei geh hai laaaaa!!!

2. yau mou lan - this is not asking u got lanjiau or not ah, dun misundertand ok....
u say this when u wanna make sure, or when u doubt his said

ngekxample - ah bee : oi, tau sin ngo gin dou tiu lui, hou lan 7 leng ah!!! mei gin guo gam leng geh lui jai ah!!!
ah don : yau mou lan???
ah bee : hai wor....lin dai sam dou mm jiok wor, tai dou 2 lap lin dik wor!!!
ah don : yao mou lan???!!!
ah bee : hai laaaa....ngo jung lor dou kui din wa hou ma tim ah!!!
ah don : yao mou lan ohhhhhhhh!!!!!!

3. tung ngo tiu 7 gong - this is same as "gong lan wa", when u think that or see some1 is bullshitting, u can use it, but
gong lan wa is abit out oledi....

ngekxample - fei lou : ah sui, li pai jou mat 7, mm chut lei yam cha, hou lan mong meh?
ah sui : mou la, li pai kau gan gei tiu lui, hou lan fan ahhhh
fei lou : lei tung ngo tiu 7 gong ah?
ah sui : diu, bai 1 pui li gor, bai 2 gor gor, bai 3 yau bin gor bin gor...sien la...
fei lou : lei tung kui gong yeh hai mai? (pointing to his lanjiau)
ah sui : ai...ngo li di lui yan juin ga, hai gam ga la...
fei lou : tung ngo tiu 7 gong la!!!!!!!

i know i know, its a bit hard to differentiate among these 3, lei geh hai, yau mou lan, tung ngo tiu 7 gong....just practise ok? practise b4 u come to KL...try to put all 3 in a single conversation...

ngekxample - a: ngo ci jor jik lor...
b: yau mou lan???
a: hai wor, chau hai si tau por yat 7 mak dai gor hai bei ngo tai, yuk 9 suin ah...
b: lei geh hai la!!!!!
a: mak dai gor hai mm gan yiu wor, jung seng gor keyboard sat 9 lok hui, li fan gung, lei jou mou?
b: lei tung ngo tiu 7 gong la!!!!!

bye....

mine's better...

千里之外--周杰倫
曲:周杰倫 詞:方文山

屋檐如懸崖 風鈴如滄海 我等燕歸來
時間被安排 演一場意外 妳悄然走開
故事在城外 濃霧散不開 看不清對白
妳聽不出來 風聲不存在 是我在感慨
夢醒來 是誰在窗台 把結局打開
那薄如蟬翼的未來 經不起誰來拆
我送妳離開 千裡之外 妳無聲黑白
沉默年代 或許不該 太遙遠的相愛
我送妳離開 天涯之外 妳是否還在
琴聲何來 生死難猜 用一生 去等待
聞淚聲入林 尋梨花白 只得一行 青苔天在山之外 雨落花台 我兩鬢斑白聞淚聲入林 尋梨花白 只得一行 青苔天在山之外 雨落花台 我等妳來
一身琉璃白 透明著塵埃
妳無瑕的愛 妳從雨中來 詩化了悲哀
我淋濕現在
芙蓉水面采 船行影猶在 妳卻不回來
被歲月覆蓋 妳說的花開 過去成空白
夢醒來 是誰在窗台 把結局打開
那薄如蟬翼的未來 經不起誰來拆
我送妳離開 千裡之外 妳無聲黑白
沉默年代 或許不該 太遙遠的相愛
我送妳離開 天涯之外 妳是否還在
琴聲何來 生死難猜 用一生 去等待







千 ni de hai--GGLong
曲:周杰倫 詞:GGLong

屋檐如懸崖, 風鈴如滄海, 我等 ni 歸來
fang jian 被安排, yao diao ni jibai, 妳 bu yao 走開
hei hei de yi kuai, mao mao 散不開, 看不清 ni de hai
妳 ba tui zhang kai, lao gung 不存在, 是我 hen hao cai
夢醒來 是誰在窗 wai , kan wo men diao hai
ni 薄如蟬翼的 jibai, 經不起 wo 來拆
我 diao 妳 de hai, 千裡之外 妳 lin gu hen 白
wo de chun 代 或許不該 sai jin qu ni de hai
我 diao 妳 de hai, 天涯之外 妳是否 hen high
kuai dian guo 來, bu yao jiang guai, diao gao ni…de ji bai
聞淚聲入林 尋梨花白 只得一行 青苔天在山之外 雨落花台 我兩鬢斑白聞淚聲入林 尋梨花白 只得一行 青苔天在山之外 雨落花台 我等妳來

ni de chou ji bai, li bian you 塵埃
妳 mei xi de hai, 妳從 fang jian 來, xiang ge la ji dai
nong chou wo chun dai

ni shuo yi ma lai, bu shi mei xi hai, wo hen bu ming bai,

yi ma yi jing lai, hai jiao wo diao hai, ni zhen de hen huai!!!

夢醒來 是誰在窗wai, kan wo men diao hai
ni 薄如蟬翼的 ji bai, 經不起 wo 來拆
我 diao 妳 de hai, 千裡之外 妳 lin gu hen 白
wo de chun 代 或許不該 sai jin qu ni de hai
我 diao 妳 de hai, 天涯之外 妳是否 hen high
kuai dian guo 來, bu yao jiang guai, diao gao ni…de ji bai

Amazing Race

after the 2nd interview, cely & wanshen r selected to represent malaysia!!! welcome to the amazing race!!!!!!! vanakam!!!!!!!!
the nite b4 they flight to india for the 1st trip....

wanshen: cely!!! ngo hou lan hoi sam ah!!!! hou loi hou loi dou mou si guo gam hoi sam jor!!!! ngo dei dak jor la!!!

cely : hai ah, ngo dou hou hoi sam jek, jan hai gu mm dou hai ngo dei 2 gor....

wanshen: hou yeh!!!

cely : ah shen shen ah, ying sing ngo 1 gin si dak mou? mou lun dim san fu, dim gan nan, gei dor chor jit dou hou, ngo dei
ci jung hai 2 lou biu, li yiong yeh hai mm wui bin geh...ji mou?

wanshen: wah...sai mm sai ah...mou gong dou gam yim jung hou mou? lam ha ting yat dou jor yan dou, hui bin dou shopping la!

cely : shen shen!!!! lei yiu gei g, ngo dei mm hai hui wan ga!!! ngo dei hui bei choi ah!!! li yat gor bei choi, dui ngo lei gong,
yi yi fei fan, ngo yat ding yiu yeng...ji mou? ngo mm hor yi sui ga!!! yat ding yiu yau bat wat bau lau geh jing san,
cin kei mou gam yi jau fong hei ah!!!

wanshen: ji la...gam ying jan jou meh wor....ngo ji ga la...:(

cely : jung yau gei g...ngo dei mm hor yi ngai gau, ji mou? lei ok yan, ngo ok yan, lei tiu jai, ngo tiu jai, lei d fren, ngo d fren,
mui yat dui ngan dou mong g ngo dei ga, ngo dei mm hor yi ngai gau, yau meh si, ping sam jing hei gam gong....

wanshen: li chang lei fong 100000000 gor sam la.....easy la, mou man tai...:p

cely : hai lei ji hou gong :)

next morning, during the flight....

wanshen: cely, ngo hou gui ah, mm gau fan, li dou yau fan mm jiok, fei gei gam sai ga, jou mat chor air asia hui geh?
axn gam yau chin, jou mat mm chor dai ga d geh, shu fuk d ma...

cely : shen shen, lei jung sai, lei mm ming ga la, dang ngo wa lei ji la...yi ga ngo dei hui yan dou ma, hai yan dou
air asia hai dai sai ga, ji mou? ji dim gai mou? yan wai air asia geh lou sai hai dau si le ma...hui dau si gok,
gang hai dau si wa sai si la....

wanshen: ohhhh...yuin loi hai gam geh......yiiii, cely lei tai gor bin, yau tiu dau si hai dou da fei gei ah!!!!!! hou wat dat ah!!!

cely : mou lei gam dor la, hou ping siong jek, mei tai gor yan dei dap fei gei da fei gei meh? d lam yan hai gam ga la,
yat lam hei fei gei jau siong da....hai...lin ngo tiu jai dou hai gam...sien :/

ZZZZzzzzzzZZZZzzzzzZZZZZZ

india, day 1, 1st mission.....

wanshen: cely!! kui dei yiu ngo dei hui wan chuin yan dou jui peng geh roti lanjiau...dim wan ah?

cely : man man wan lor, ngo tai dei tou, lei ja ceh...

wanshen: jou mat ngo ja ceh wor, lei ja la bat yu...ngo tai dei tou hou lek ga...

cely : diu nia sing, giu lei ja jau ja la, gam lan dor yeh gong....fai di!!!

wanshen: (mou la la diu yan geh, mou gai geh) :(......ja mai ja lor....

cely : turn left, jik hang, gam man ga, got ceh la pokai, got jor cin min gor tiu hamgachan la.....

wanshen: yorrrrr, got gan lor, gam lan dai seng jou meh wor....siong sik jor yan gam...

(camera is shaking....camera man's hands r shaking....)

cely : juin jor, juin yau, jik hang, juin yau, juin yau, juin jor, 12 dim, juin 3 dim, ji hau 7 dim bun, gan g 9 dim 42 fen...

wanshen: wan lan yau 9 dim 42 fen meh? cely lei ngap mat chun oh, hou 7 luin sui ah...ngo tau hou tung ah...

cely : shen shen lei hou lan mou yung ga la, siu siu yeh jau tau tung, oi sik panadol mou?

wanshen: oi ah oi ah, fai di lor lei...

cely : si jau yau dak lei sik!!!!!! ja lei geh ceh la!!!!!!!! fai di tim ah....gau gau jan

wanshen: cely, lei yi cin mm hai gam gak? lei mm wui gam dui ngo go wor......dim gai wor...

cely : .............. soli la, ngo sam gap dak jai ma...soli soli.......

wanshen: :)....ngo ming bak geh, mm gan yiu la, ngo dei mou joi ngai gau hou mou?

cely : hou :)..........yii??? ngo dei yi ga hai bin ah? lei juin jor hui bin ah?

wanshen: ngo bin dou ji ah, lei tai dei tou go wor...guan ngo lan si meh

cely : lei gong mat 7 ah!!!!!!! hai lei tung ngo gong yeh, gau dou ngo fan san g yi lik!!!

wanshen: lei gong lan sai lor, san yau hai lei, guai yau hai lei.....diu!

cely : lei diu mat lan!!! hou lan diu dak ah!!!! mou dai mou sai!!!! fai di lok ceh man dau si la!!!

(camera man lai si)

wanshen: lei gam lek, lei hui man la, lei jung yi sik dau si ma, lei hui lor...

cely : hui mai hui...lei mou lan yung, chor hai dou dang hoi fan la.....

wanshen: chiu..!!

(got 1 dau si is approaching their car)

dau si : yen ne leh? nandru wum be let ka ii mu dia?

wanshen: cely, kui gong mat 7 oh?

cely : lei diam 7 d la, dang ngo man ha kui sin...........yooo tambi, sa ram di wa kratelet yendi roti sundeh?

dausi : boh!!! ye ne le suni bakara!!! boh!!! pundek na gere lai lai....

cely : .............

(dau si's gone)

wanshen: dim ah? kui gong d mat?

cely : kui giu ngo sei 7 hoi, mou fan 9 kui, yi ging yau 20 gei tiu yau man kui tung yat gor man tai, kui hou lan fan jor....

will they manage to get to the place? next wednesday, 9pm on axnnnnnnnnnn

那一天晚上天空又下起了雨....

親愛的媽媽：我現在在天堂，坐在主耶穌的腿上。祂愛我亦與我同哭；因為我的心碎了。我真的很希望成為你的小女孩。我不是很明白到底發生了甚麼事。當我發現自己的存在時，我很高興。我在那黑暗，但很舒適的地方。 我見到我的手趾跟腳趾。我都已經成長了不少，但還未足夠至可以離開那地方。我用我的時間去思考和睡覺。即使是我初開始成長時，我已感到我跟你的親密關係。有時我聽見你哭，我便會跟你同哭。有時你會大叫或者尖叫，然後又哭起來。我聽見爸爸向你大聲抱怨。我很悲傷，亦希望你會快點好起來。我想知道為何你會常常哭。有一天你哭了整天。我因你而心傷了。我不能想像為何你會這樣傷心。 就在那一天，那最可怕的事發生了。有一隻很自私的怪物進來了那溫暖又舒適的地方。我當時很害怕，我開始尖叫，但沒有聲音。我猜你一定是被捉住了，因為你並沒有幫我。或者你並沒有聽見我。那怪物越走越近，我便一直尖叫：「媽媽，媽媽，救我！媽媽，救我！」我感到無限的恐懼。我尖叫直至我想我已經不能了。然後那怪物把我的手臂扯裂。那真的很痛，痛得我無法解釋。牠並沒有停止。啊，我求牠停止。我在恐懼中尖叫，牠又把我的腳扯裂。即使我在那痛楚中，我亦知道我快要死了。我知道我永遠也不能見到你的臉，或者聽到你對我說你有多愛我。我很希望把你的淚抹走。我有很多計劃去令你快樂。但現在我不能了；我的夢想都走了。即使我在那無限的痛楚和恐懼中，我仍感到我的心在碎。我多麼的希望成為你的女兒。但現在沒用了，因為我已在痛楚中漸漸死亡。我只能想像那東西在對你做甚麼。我很想在我離開前告訴你我愛你，但我不知道那可以令你明白的詞語。直至我沒有氣去說這話，我已死了。我感到自己在上升。我被一個很大的天使帶到一個很大很美的地方。我還在哭，但身上的痛楚已離開了。那天使把我帶到主耶穌前並把我放在主耶穌的腿上。祂說祂愛我，而且祂是我的父親。我很快樂。 我問祂到底是甚麼東西殺死我的。祂回答：「墮胎。對不起，我的孩子，因為我知道那是甚麼感覺。」我不知道甚麼是「墮胎」，我猜這就是那怪物的名字。我寫信給你是要告訴你我愛你和我是多麼的希望能成為你的小女孩。我用盡努力去生存。我想生存。我有這個志願，但我不能，那怪物太強，牠把我的手和腳也扯斷，甚至把我殺死。那根本沒可能有生存機會。我只想告訴你我曾嘗試去和你一起。我真不希望死。還有啊媽媽，請小心那名叫「墮胎」的怪物。媽媽，我愛你，我不希望你會受我所受到的痛楚。請小心。　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　愛你的 　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　 你的小女嬰

Masturbate Marathon, Friday to Tuesday

Actually i've got not much of a time to blog everyday. I'm not a hardcore blogger and I dont stick on computers everyday. This is so not cool.SO WHAT IS COOL?Masturbating is, lol.I think I’ve spend more than 18 hours this weekend on masturbating. Its getting more and more serious since I bought the masturbate tools and have it placed at Mar's house.Friday night, we had a mini fucking session with my cousins. Attendance - Me, May, Ah Lian, Ah Fa, Ah Ling, Ah Ching and Siew Li. Their pussy were bleeding like shit, it was like pouring and blowing but this did not stop me fucking from kitchen to store room. We spend a couple of hours there, about 5-6 times per cousin I think, then I'm off to my masturbate session, Yeah!
I must say I'm not a addicted to sex but masturbate is fun. So anyway, I played in Mar's place till 6am Saturday morning. I was in Cely Masturbate session again on Saturday night till 5am Sunday morning. Since Tuesday is a public holiday, it’s continued again at Mar's place on Monday night, until today morning.Song lan dou ah!

today's lesson

today, im going to teach u a lesson, sin ga lan lesson...no mood to write story ah, since not many like it, so stop for a while....every1 likes me to sin ga lan, wanna see my hamsap blog....haihhhh, nobody will understand me, actually......yeah, im a hamsap lou, very hamsap 1....da fei gei everyday....but im not going to teach u how i da fei gei with my armpit....
i wanna teach u sumthing today....
1. wat is ah por coi pau ah??? dunno?? ah por got wat hai? ah por oledi old, lou jor, got lou hai, so, ah por coi pau is lou hai dou jau ah!!!!
2. lou gung put sin, y lou gung put sin, of coz he wans to make her lou por feel cool ma....so, lou gung put sin is "cai liong"
3. hor lan yuit, wat is hor lan ah? hor lan in cantonese la, it's a country, holland...then wat is yuit ah? yuit is moon la dai lan ngong....
so, hor lan yuit is holland moon (hou lan moon)
4. ou mun fung sin, ou mun is wat ah? ou mun is a country oso la, macau....fung sin leh? fung sin is fan la diu...so, ou mun fun sin is wat ah?
macau fan lor....ma 9 fan ah...
5. chong ban giap chun doi....this is to descride sumthing la...u see la, if your chun doi let your chong ban giap dou jor, u go tell ppl ah? no ma....so no face, ppl will laugh u la, so how? u suffer urself lor....ppl dunno ur problem, so? "chong ban giap chun doi, yau fu ji gei ji" compare to "nga ji sik wong lin, yau fu ji gei ji"...this 1 oledi out la, those outdated ppl onli use nga ji sik wong lin....now oledi hing "chong ban giap chun doi" la......still nga meh ji sik mat 7 hai wong meh 9 lin la.....
6. this is the most important 1....every1 wish to have good health ma issit? issit good health very hard to have? no la...u follow me, me teach u how good health, good health like me, very good, can smoke, can drink, can tfk, can do anything 1...still health very good...how????okok...me go show u...u listen slow slow ok? nono...read slow slow...go get a pen a pis of paper....(soli ah...for guys onli, next time onli gor gals)

- 67 hei dak jou, 67 fan dak hou, diu hai chut 7 fan jing, yat 7 juk g 67 luin gam fing, lan mou tai gong gong, fei gei da dak hou lan song, 1 yat diu 5 tiu lui, man man sik jau yam lei dui, yam jau yiu siu yin, diu hai yiu ja lin, yat yat sik wai gor, yi sang yuin lei ngo, 24 siu si yiu hamsap, 80 sui ji cin mm wui tau dap dap, chut liong 2-3 cin, mai dor gei tiu lou fu bin, 1 nin giu 99 ci gai, lou por dai tou bau sang jai...
remember....fei gei 1 yat da 1 ci....not enuff...da 3 ci...3 ci enuf, 3 ci very good, i know many ppl cannot da 3 ci, nm la...slow slow come ok, try ur best la....
i oso very hard and train very long until can da 3 ci....u will be fine, dun worry, dun sin mou me ok? ngo sau gor juin yan dak bit fan lin...

jiok jai bui hau....

yau 1 yat....gong gu lou yat jiu jou hei san, hou jou chut mun, hoi hoi sam sam gam chut mun, mun wai hei mong gam hang dou por shu dou dang jiok jai, dang jek jiok jai joi fei mai lei kui bok tau dou....gong gu lou dang jor hou loi, jung mei gin dou jek jiok jai, kui hoi ci dam sam, mm hai dam sam jiok jai mm joi lei wan kui, yi hai dam sam jiok jai yau si, dam sam jiok jai mm hoi sam, mm shu fuk....gong gu lou, mat dou jou mm dou, jing hai sik dak dam sam...yan wai kui gan bun mm ji jek jiok jai hai bin, kui wan mm dou jiok jai.....gong gu lou gai juk hai dou dang.....kui jung yu dou gin dou jek jiok jai la....hou hoi sam ah....dan hai jek jiok jai, yat di dou mm hoi sam, kui mou fei dou gong gu lou geh bok tau, kui kei hai shu siong, hou ci siong wa bei gong gu lou ji, kui mm hoi sam, mm siong teng gu jai, mm siong ciong gor...gong gu lou hou siong ji dou dim gai jiok jai mm hoi sam, hou siong tung jiok jai fan hiong....dan hai jiok jai mm sik gong, hoi mm dou seng....kui hai shu siong kei jor yat jan, jau fei jau jor...gong gu lou hou sat mong, ji dou jiok jai mmm hoi sam dan hai yau bong mm dou kui....gong gu lou hou siong chan ji hui wan jek jiok jai, kui mm siong joi gam mui yat hai por shu dou dang jiok jai fei mai lei, kui siong, g dung hang guo hui wan jek jiok jai.....gong gu lou hou lou lik gam hui wan, hang dou hou yuin hou yuin, mui ci hai hou yuin geh dei fong tai dou jek jiok jai, gong gu lou dou ga fai giok bou....dan hai....mui yat ci gong gu lou ga fai giok bou, jek jiok jai yau joi fei jau hui dai 2 gor dei fong...gong gu lou giu tin bat ying giu dei bat man, yam kui ngai dou gei dai seng dou hou, jek jiok jai..hou ci dou teng mm dou......
gong gu lou hou siong gai juk hui jui jek jiok jai, hai....gong gu lou hai yan, jiok jai hai jiok jai...bin yau gam yung yi jui dou ga, yam kui pau dak gei fai, dou jui mm dou la...gong gu lou sam lam..mm gan yiu la, hou ci yi cin gam, hai por shu dou dang kui mai dak lor....
gong gu lou dip mai sam sui yat yat hai por shu dou dang jiok jai la...1 yat, jiok jai lei dou, hou hoi sam gam fei dou gong gu lou geh bok tau, gong gu lou hou hoi sam, yat lou gong gu jai bei jiok jai teng, yat lou dai g jiok jai jau wai hang....hang hang ha tou ngor jau hui sik yeh...jiok jai tung yan sik geh yeh gang hai mm yat yiong la....bat guo kui dei dou hai yat cai sik, jiok jai sik cung, yan sik fan...gong gu lou dai jor jiok jai hui 1 gor dei fong, yau dak sik cung, jung yau fan sik tim....nga bou lou shu cung....mamit gai fan....
1 duin si gan, kui dei dou hou hoi sam....jiok jai yau si dou wui fei hei lei, dai g gong gu lou hang....yuin loi, jiok jai siong tai dai hei, dai g gong gu lou pui kui tai...duk duk cang, duk cang, duk cang, ca cang, ca duk cang, duk ca cang.......
hai hou duin geh si gan, gong gu lou ji gei yi ging ji dou, jek jiok jai dui kui lei gong bei yam hor yeh jung yiu, kui siong jan sik jek jiok jai, kui siong jek jiok jai mui yat tung kui yat cai....dan hai, gong gu lou yiu dim sin hor yi juk g jek jiok jai leh? (joi gai juk.....)